Comments on: "So, where are you from?"

By: Joumana

Joumana — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 04:03:02 +0000

I can so relate! Well, sometimes I would say with a straight face ” I am from East Texas”.

By: Aman

Aman — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 12:35:01 +0000

i dont think there is anything wrong with this question…apart from just being paranoid and y shud we be ashamed of our heritage… y are we afraid to tell ppl where we are from.

By: Aman

Aman — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 12:33:50 +0000

to be honest I find myself asking ppl this question.. coz most of the time im curious about their looks.

By: Shahid

Shahid — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 20:48:34 +0000

I enjoy following up with a “and where about are you from ORIGINALLY?” Fair question i think. If i am expected to keep my heritage in my pocket so should these “real Americans.”

By: Nureena

Nureena — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 20:17:14 +0000

Loved this post. This happens to me a lot of times too. “where are you from?” “durham” and then they’ll be like “no i mean where are you *from*?” Its something i think about a lot and it is rather patronizing. It makes me feel like as if I don’t belong here or something because I don’t fit the “look”.
It gets even more interesting b/c my skin is lighter so people assume i’m from a variety of places. I’ve had TWO creepy men at bus stop ssay “are you italian or somethin’?” I kid you not.

By: Amna

Amna — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 21:27:16 +0000

well it’s kind of funny when, as a brown person, i cant tell what kind of asian people are. it’s quite a dilemma, since i want to try to practice my chinese now.. ha. it kind of gets awkward when im like “hey.. so where are YOU from” and they get all cold on me and im like “WHOA i am BROWN honey calm down”. so yeah.

personally what bothers me more is the butchering of “Pakistan”. i mean i stubbornly say it right until people get it, and then they go around thinking its really “Bawkistohn”. o_O

By: svend

svend — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:11:55 +0000

Salaams,
Not that I ever have to deal with it, but that question is indeed as ridiculous and irksome as it it is ubiqutious. Another one that my wife discovered to bedevil hijabis on campus (she did research on Muslim women at two US universities) was a seemingly completely innocent one: “Aren’t you hot [from that hijab and all your modest clothing']?” It was fascinating to see how that question could be loaded with all sorts of assumptions.

By: Sarah Long

Sarah Long — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:31:01 +0000

On a more serious note, I’ve been thinking about your post since I read it because I know that I’m sometimes guilty of using “Where are you from?” when what I really mean is “I’m interested in learning more about your culture.” I know that the times I’ve said this, I’ve never felt like it was quite the “right,” thing to say, but to say something else, like “Can you tell me about your heritage” just seems somehow stilted and awkward. I think a lot of times when people use the “Where are you from?” phrasing, they’re not necessarily doing it out of a desire to be manipulative or because they think they’re going to trick the person they’re asking into telling them information about themselves, but because they think it seems like a more natural (or friendly maybe?) way to ask. But I guess the point is that asking these kinds of questions in a more direct way SHOULDN’T be awkward, at least when motivated by a genuine desire to learn more about each other and not by racism.

And completely unrelated but hope I will get to see some of you this summer in a more fun environment than law school! I’m thinking about trying to get some of us who are working in Raleigh (starting my job tomorrow!) together for dinner sometime soon or maybe having some people over to my apartment so I’ll let you know!

By: abbuuuuuu

abbuuuuuu — Sat, 30 May 2009 02:33:17 +0000

I like that Ayesha! Gaelic would confuse the heck out of everyone.

I was standing in line at McDonald once in Charleston, SC with my brother. A person in line asked my brother “where are you from”? My brother said very politely “from here”. The questioner got a bit confused and again asked “no where are you from”. Now those of you who know my brother know well that you don’t ask such things to him. Ofcourse my brother’s reply was the same yet again, “from here” , but I can’t even begin to describe the tone, style, expression, gesture behind that answer of my brother. All what I can say is that the questioner got what he deserved. I have never seen anyone so embaressed, ashamed-looking and as we say in Urdu “Bheegi Billi” (soaking wet cat:) as that questioner looked. I was afraid that he may leave without ordering.

Love you all! You have a long life ahead of you and take it from this “Budha” (old) man! It’s worth living and this country despite such “amusements” is the best there is in this whole wide “worled”.

By: ayesha

ayesha — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:21:02 +0000

LOL @ ameir! i didn’t know

sarah long – seriously! i thought i was the only person who got “you speak american real good!” LOL… that was at a 7-11 in luray, VA, from a very NICE but ignorant cashier.

tibs, back in college hassan once informed someone that “pakistan” was a little spot about 45 minutes outside of chapel hill, or thereabouts… no joke!
*sigh* that was pre-9-11 though…

i usually start out with “north carolina” and drag it out only depending on how insulting the questioner is (unwitting or no). i think i should start saying “scotland,” though, and busting out with some authentic gaelic to convince them. whaddaya think?