what does a food blog do during Ramadan? it fasts, obviously, just like its author. for this month, at least, food will take a back burner in my life. this is a month, like my teacher once explained, where a muslim intentionally creates a physical void inside his or her body and tries to fill it instead with an increased awareness and connection to God.

ramadan represents chance – a chance to focus on all aspects of yourself and your life. ramadan represents choice – the choice to use this blessed month to strike a balance between self-denial and self-fulfillment. instead of waiting around for something dynamic to happen in your life, waiting for a catalyst to push you into self-renewal – ramadan is a time for each person to take his or her life into their own hands – grasp every day and every night and throw themselves entirely into this life to transform it into a preparation for the hereafter.

there are a lot of things i want to change about myself. i’ve noticed myself slipping into a bare-bones minimum religious life (from what i tell myself is busy-ness and fatigue) and i’m not happy with that. i know where my mind and heart used to be, and i want to get back there and go beyond it to a higher level of spiritual strength.

i want to use this month to increase my patience and focus in many areas – faith, family, school. i want to make myself think more deeply about who i am (i.e. expand my mind beyond where law school has confined it for the past year), spend more time immersed in thought and exploring inside my own mind. i want to read more Quraan and spend time learning the words and meaning of the verses and thinking of ways to apply them to my life.

i’m not even sure why i’m writing this in a blog post. this really is a private matter, but i think if i post it and see it over and over, i’ll feel more of a sense of dedication to my goals. making myself write it down and put it in a place where i can see it is important to me.

my Lord has never turned His back on me. He’s always given me more than I could ever think to ask for, bestowing bounty and mercy on me without me even asking for it. even though i am not where i should be right now, i know that He will guide me once i make the intention and effort to learn and open my heart.